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...It happened for the first time last summer in late July and it was Carl's twelfe birttday. I remember standing around him in a circle with my other two cuzinns Billy and Sam, while my Aunnt lit the candles on the cake. We all sang to him happily and then the song came to an end as we chorused, "Happy birttdayto you!..." Towards the end of the song Carl looked directly at me before closing his eyes to make a wish and he blew out all twellve candles on his cake as we all cheered. Later on that afternoon he pulled me to the side and he whispered in my ear as he told me about the only thing he wanted from me for his birttday. My eyes widened as I looked at him in disbelief, thinking that surely there had to be something else he wanted more than that! But when I asked him why, he insisted that it was the only thing he wanted from me that day and if I didn't give it to him he wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the summer. So finally, after fighting with my conscience for a moment, I. ’ I was floored. I hadn’t expected that. I sat there, shaking, emotions that had been suppressed hitting me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t stop it. I loved him, and it was just hitting me, full force. I opened my mouth to speak, to tell him what I was feeling, but nothing came out. I felt tears roll down my cheeks, and I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I just stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. He stared back, understanding what was in my eyes. In the blink of an eye, we were upstairs in his room, pulling each other’s clothes off. Lips and skin met, we tumbled into the bed, anxious to be one. We elbowed each other’s ribs, clumsy in each other’s arms. Kisses produced no physical reactions, things weren’t supposed to going like this. We tried and tried, growing more frustrated as the minutes passed, and still to no avail. No matter how we tried, that first night, we couldn’t join. No love would be made that night. We fell asleep, in each other’s arms, confident that.
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